I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
