it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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