he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize