a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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