Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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