can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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