new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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