Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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