I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
