dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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