I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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