ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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