I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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