You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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