i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Randomize
