I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
