Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My life is pants optional.
ok first of all what the fuck
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize