If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
