I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
