we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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