yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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