People in love make me want to vomit
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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