she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
They have beer where we have blood.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
