scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
