everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Can you bring me the toilet please
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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