yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
