would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
