I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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