we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
