moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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