Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
