My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Dear god my vagina.
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