I wish i was in the wii world.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
