I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you will always have a special place in my vag
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
