from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
