Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
