Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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