I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
