So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
