Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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