Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
They took my balls.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
