You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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