You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize