I faked an abortion last night.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
