I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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