you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
