everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
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and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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