distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize