NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
