I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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