I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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