when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
