Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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