There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize