there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize