Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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