Whod you bang
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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