they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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