dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
