Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
