How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
